A long time...

So it's been a good amount of time since I've lasted updated this thing. I could spend all my time looking back and trying to remember all the little details but as I'm learning, it's best to leave the past where it is and focus on the present. What I can share details on is the band is going very well. We had two performances this week: one at Headhunters in Austin and anther one Friday at the Warehouse Live in downtown Houston. The focus with Headhunters was to get me more stage time with the band and help me break out of my shell a little bit. I do have a tendency to get tunnel vision when I'm on stage and focus on just my playing and not reaching out to the crowd. That has good and bad effects... more "not good." What it does is get me solely focused on hitting the right notes that the pressure of that combined with me knowing that "people are watching" make me a nervous wreck on stage, thus making miss notes. Lately I've been reading a book called "The Music Lesson" by Victor Wooten (a bass virtuoso). I don't remember buying this book but apparently I did... that or the universe manifested a copy just laying around my house to catch my eye. The main points I've picked up so far is to practice concentration and un-concentrating when performing, thus helping not putting too much pressure on yourself when playing alone or live. This has apparently worked because I had gotten notes from some of my bandmate's and potential manager that my stage presence has picked up a bit. I have definitively noticed as well, mainly noticing that I'm seeing a lot more of the audience than just the guy to my left. This book has also helped a bit more with me opening my mind to music a bit more; acknowledging that music isn't in my head, it's in the air all around us and it up to me and my technique to be able to take it and bring it to life. Having a better understanding of how to work around my fret board has been a big help as well. I have a little scales book that I got to help me understand scales a bit better but all this time I had been having to refer to it a lot and not remembering anything from it. One day it something it my head just clicked and now, even though I couldn't tell you what scales I am playing, I understand how to work my way up my bass neck playing a scale a lot better.

I know that last line is going to confuse a lot of readers, so let me put it in an understandable analogy. Music is a language. In fact it's a multicultural language. Even though I can't speak many different languages, I can listen to a group based out of Africa (Tinarawen), and even though I can't understand the lyrical content I can understand the groove and feeling that they are expressing. So when it came to me how to better connect the dots on my fret board rather than just guessing most of the time while playing, it was like learning how to talk. When you're a baby you don't know how to form language, so you just mumble a lot, learning from the people around you who are talking all the time. Eventually you start to get it, and you learn to communicate with the people around you. At that time/age (let's say 3) you don't know how to spell or write, but you sure can speak it. That's me and music at this point in time. I couldn't tell you right off the bat what scale I'm rocking, but I can play up and down and all over. I am the musical equivalent of 3, I guess is what you can take away from this. By the way, that talking analogy is strait out of "The Music Lesson," eye opening book.

So other than that there's not much else I can touch on. We're really busy recording an album right now to send off to some perspective end's that I can't really talk too much about just yet, in time I can but for now I don't want to curse it. Last night's show was good for, again, a lot of other big reason's that at this time I can't enlighten on. I can say that we have a lot of momentum behind us at the moment and appreciate all well wishes sent our way as we approach the cusp of Done Deal becoming super busy. We're also getting to know one another a lot better which leads to a whole band maturing as better musician's.

Big things are on the horizon and I'll do my best to give you all the inside perspective as we go along our path. Thanks for reading and do your best to make everyday the best foot forward in your world that you can... there's no time like the present.

"Change starts with just one foot forward." - Me

Big gap with some actual news.

I don't remember the last time I posted anything up here. I suppose I could just open another tab on my window here and look up the exact date but I feel like being a bit vague. It's been a while and I'm going to leave it at that.

As it happens I finally have some news on the "chasing my dreams" front. I finally was picked up by a band. Not just that, but a band that has a lot of momentum behind them and a lot coming up on the horizon very quickly. This is a better place to be at as a state of mind rather than where I was, where I felt like I was just at the base of Mt. Impossible. I have met some people here and they all eventually ask "So what brought you to Austin?" and I always reply with the same "I came here to pursue a career in art and Austin is the best place that supports it's artists." Then I always get the follow up "Well there are a ton of musician's and band's here, it's a lot of competition." Well if we all looked at all our challenges that way then we would never get out of bed in the morning. I'm not going to lie here, those thoughts were in the back of my mind; "You're out here by yourself and somehow you're going to get a project up and going and off the ground?" Pretty soon hearing that over and over, that's where I would hit that point of "Jesus, what am I doing? I have to be freakin' nuts to think this would seriously work!" But I kept at it. Some day's with very little belief in myself, other day's with crazy amounts of confidence at work, but I kept the search for something out there going.

One day I seriously got to thinking about how people looked at the Austin band ratio as a competition, how so many here think that the only way to make was to beat them all like it was a race. I finally got to this point of thinking where I was like "Why does it have to be a competition. We're all out here looking for the same thing, we all want to make music our career. Why the competition?" So I wrote up an ad on Craigslist about how absurd I thought the idea of Austin being competitive ground was, and that instead of taking it on as that how I wanted to network with as many Austin musicians as I could, especially being that I was new to the scene. I also put that I was a bassist available if any band needed one. I got a few reply's back from people who liked what I said, and a couple offers from projects needing a bassist. One of them being from Mike (a.k.a. Luckie) from a band called Done Deal. They had an opening and were wanting to audition me. The only catch was my truck was still back in Wichita and I would need a lift to their rehearsal space if they wanted to audition me. Eventually we figured out that on a Monday I would come in an audition. Monday came and I got a call from Mike saying that it had to be moved to Tuesday. Tuesday came and something came up, moved to Wednesday. Wednesday shows, another conflict. We'll do it Thursday. Thursday comes... again, have to move it. Friday there was an event at the apartment complex and we didn't get in touch with each other. I had gotten a message from Mike sometime in that week of him saying "We're not trying to screw you around, we really want to audition you." But by Friday was just back at square one thinking "Well... here I am again."

It had been a couple of weeks and I had tried to get something going on my own, I met with a guitarist who just... wasn't meshing. And that sinking feeling of doubt started swirling around again. I got a message from Mike, who just had a kid and was taking some time of his own, asking me if I was still interested in auditioning. I said I was but was getting ready to leave to Athens for Thanksgiving and wouldn't be back until a week after, but I would have my truck. He said that was alright and that we could meet up when I got back.

I got back on a Thursday and Friday we were going to audition. Friday during the day Mike called me; "You ready for tonight?" "Yeah man, ready to go." "Cool, well, I'm not going to be there, I'm actually going to be at a wedding, but you'll be auditioning with the band (Guitarist and Drummer)." "Oh! ...okay..." Mike had been my only contact with the band, now I'm auditioning with people I hadn't even talked to before hand. It was kind of a weird feeling of "Well I guess I'm meeting these people on my own then!"

So I made it to Sam's (Guitarist) place. Justin (Drummer) showed up a bit late. Done Deal has two mixed songs on YouTube that people can easily hear and learn off of for an audition. They also have some other live tunes that you can't hear the audio that great. I learned their two good songs and pieced together the live tune as best as I could before the audition. I went in, did the two songs and kind of surprised them with knowing the third song. We talked a little bit and I went home. I didn't make it home before Mike called me up with a follow up on seeing how I liked playing with the band. I told him that I had a blast playing and he offered me the position to be the bassist for Done Deal. He said that they had audition other bass players in the time that we weren't able to meet up but they just weren't clicking with the others for some reason. Mike said "I knew I wanted to get you in before we made our decision." And that was it.

We have shows on the 17th and the 29th of this month and other commitments coming up in January. I can't be any happier than I am right now. I'm finally back in a project with a foreseeable future.

'Bout. Damn. Time.

“Just write anything,” I was told.

It was an unusually cold Friday night in the heart of down town Austin. It was three days before Halloween, I had shown up to a free concert being held by a mutual friend and promoter. “Free Food, Free Music” was how it was promoted two weeks before the actual event and much to the promoter’s expectations; the gimmick had worked… for the most part. For previous events the pitch of “Free Beer” had generated more of a turn out before tonight’s big show, but for an all day bill featuring all local bands, a costume contest promising a $300 first place prize, and of course, “Free Food” the turn out was respectable.

I had shown up an hour late to the show; I would like to be able blame the bus scheduling or the unusually high bus clientele (for it being Halloween weekend and a Friday, I guess it’s not as “unusual” as it might seem)… but really the blame landed totally on me and my need to finish a mission on a video game that I had played numerous times before this Friday. I wasn’t learning anything I already hadn’t with the games storyline, nothing new was going to come out of playing it this time than it had previously. I wasn’t gaining anything, except level completion. I don’t know why it is that I can get sucked into a virtual game like that; take the elevator down to the mining level with my team, armed to the teeth with the highest level gear I could acquire (this being my third time replaying this particular game). Elevator doors open up and to my immediate right are two low level troops accompanied by heavy weapons specialist; my four shots are to the heavy weapons holder while my team takes down Trooper 1 and 2. The fire fight lasts for approximately four seconds, I gain a weapon and armor upgrade for my swiftness. Fire the mining laser, sneak in and rescue the hostage, elevator up, and CUTSCENE. Even though the mine is collapsing around us, due to my firing of the laser to save the hostage, I’m greeted by the level’s boss who makes it known: “Either she comes with me, or we all die here!” The fight and following cutscene takes up five minutes, more time that I could have spent sitting on the bus earlier. Maybe if instead of playing that level, which I had just owned… again… I could have avoided the people on Stop 16, 17, 19, and 23, and the exits on Stops 16, 17, 18, 19, 21, 23, and 25. …But that damsel was in distress, and in no condition to save herself.

I had finally walked up to the venue and in on a band mid-set. An all instrumental band, there was a microphone but no one was utilizing it. The band had a fusion jazz sound mixed with a small taste of funk, and punk if only to answer for the intensity of the bassist and rhythm guitarist playing. The band was made up of a keyboardist who filled out the background, bassist, drummer, rhythm and lead guitarist. The lead guitarist didn’t look like he fit with the band at all, he was older by a few years, focused more on his playing, rather than banging his head like his guitar and bassist companions, and spent most of his time staring at his band while either in the middle of a song or his own lead guitar parts. You almost got the since that he was watching his band, purely, for timing purposes. His guitar parts, all though somewhat structured, felt more like they were improvised to what his backing band was laying down. The energy was loose, free and open, and fun between them, and you could feel it in every song the performed. It really was magical, and like all magical experiences, it was short lived for me; damn my timing. I met up with my friend who had dressed up for the occasion: Mullet wig, tank-top, denim shorts, flip-flops, and a beer in hand for authenticity. We made small talk and he asked what I had dressed up as for the night: Black thermal long sleeve, pants, and my custom orange shoes... I was “a guy who used to live in Kansas.” He laughed and looked at himself “Well I’m a guy…” he paused and looked at himself, I finished, “…who still lives in Kansas.”

The night progressed on, more bands played, more people showed up. It was finally after 9p that another friend I had just met showed up with a friend of hers. They we paired up in a Roger and Jessica Rabbit outfit. ‘Roger’ couldn’t have been more dead on, he had obviously paid for the suit that came with the red overalls, gloves, funny shoes, bunny ears head piece and the small patch of greenish hair to top the look. ‘Jessica’ (coincidentally her real name) rocked the red dress and gloves that stretched up to her elbows, and was smoking a cigarette in the dated extended holder. A lot of time and planning went into making this get up work for the both of them.

Much time had gone by but plenty of bands still had their sets coming. I was sitting off to the side and away from most of the action just relaxing and getting some blood flow back to the balls of my feet. While I sat there, ‘Roger’ (not his real name) came and sat with me. We started talking about how we had known each other but never really knew each other until tonight, (which makes me not remembering his name now kind of horrible to admit). “Are you a writer?” he asked in his comically appealing sweat and make-up filled face. “I write but I really wouldn’t call myself a writer. I’m a musician and I write quite a bit for that as well.” “Ah,” replied, “you look like a writer.” He went on to explain how he aspired to be a comedian, “I’ve also have acting experience as well and have taken some theater schooling, but really I’d like to do comedy.” “Ah, okay, right on.” My typical responses to someone who either is talking more in the conversation than I am, in which I’m acknowledging that ‘I’m still there’ listening, or to someone inebriated rambling on, in which case I throw those in there so our conversation can wrap up sooner and not get caught up in “you don’t really care about what I’m saying!” In those situations I tend to exhibit a bit of honesty with a “yeah, not really, but it’s good that you care about what you’re saying!” ‘Roger’ was a bit of both, so I was about half in, maybe a quarter if you take into account that, initially, “he’s talking more in the conversation than I was.” “You know, if you have stuff that you’ve written, hit me up. I know plenty of people who can take whatever you have and produce into something.” “Right on, (I’m in the conversation here), well I have some stuff that probably isn’t developmental, and I’m in a bit of a ‘writing dry spell’ right now. I want to write but I just end up sitting and staring at my monitor for a while until my A.D.D. kicks in.” At this point in the conversation my mind immediately leapt back to my next mission to come in the video game back home. “That happens a lot to everybody, you shouldn’t worry about that,” he reassured me. “The best thing to do in that situation is just pull up Word, or whatever, and just write about what on your mind at that point in time: ‘I can’t write, I’m uncreative right now and this is me expressing just how uncreative I am. This page is white, I can’t write.’ Just write anything,” I was told. I was 100% in the conversation at that point.

I’m not a religious in a since that I follow any set or organized religion, but I am spiritual in life. I believe that if you put yourself out there in a way to recognize the simple little nuances that are out there that you can find all the answers you seek; it’s all about keeping yourself open to the vibrations that life has to offer. Life is as alive and thoughtful as we are, and if you keep yourself clear and available it will respond and work with you. Life heard me say “I’m in a writing dry spell,” and it responded through a vessel that may or may not remember talking to me that night.

It’s now 3:57a on a Tuesday, the first day of November. In my kitchen/office I’m sitting, staring at my monitor while my curser looks back at me blinking. Next to me sitting on my laptop is a deck of cards and a picture that still needs to be hung on the wall somewhere. The white on the monitor is blindingly intimidating. I shuffle the deck of cards a few times, never once really getting all the cards to fall in. After a few more attempts to shuffle a perfect set I drop my cards back on the laptop. Cars are still as active now as they are at 3:57p, the reality of living in a big city. I can hear some neighbor somewhere talking either to himself or his cell phone; it’s amusing to think it’s to himself, so passionate. I think back to that Friday night and Roger Rabbit giving me the advice at what to do at this point:

“Just write anything,” I was told.

One month in.

I haven't been keeping up on this lately although I have no reason in the world why I should have been. I just haven't. Plus I haven't had any exciting developments happens that came up as blog worthy. I don't think this one counts either, but I should update it anyway just so I can keep my regular readers interested.

I have officially been here a month. Yesterday, out of that month, I finally did something productive. I've been reading a lot lately and am currently working on a "musician's self help book."

"I Don't Need a Record Deal." It puts going Independent under a perspective light and follows an artists suggestion on the best way of "attacking the indie music scene." This book has motivated me dramatically. Some pressing issues in the back of my mind were thoughts like I couldn't make it 'big' because of age, or looks, or personality. But the book, and some reading from an artist I consider an inspiration, really put it into light that music isn't about the personality, it's about the emotion, about the music. Think about it critically, the band you love, do you like their music because of who they are? Because their hair is long? Because they drank, or did heroin, that's what made their songs great? Major markets put too much hype on what the artist wears, or who they're involved with, or the personality itself and the music gets left behind because of that.

Getting that message through my mind and actually focusing on the music has inspired me greatly. It's refocused my goals to the exact same message I had been giving my dad when he broke off from his old job and focused all on his own business: "Let the work speak for itself." I, not only, have a plan in how to go about making and selling music, but years experience of Guerrilla and Social Media Marketing. Not to mention the web series I was apart of, that was all independently made, produced, and sold to Topeka's CBS affiliate, and picked up. Right there, BOOM. That's my sign that I can make a living out of music, without all the hype from a Major Label. Make it all in-house and distribute with networking from social media... I've got this thing made.

Last night I actually met up with some neighbors that have a band, minus a bassist. They put on the show at the complex here last Saturday. I sat in and we jammed. We had a really good session. It's was nice to dust off the cobwebs and sit in with physical band. Being the bassist, I really have an advantage sitting in with groups who have a good guitarist, all I have to do is sync up with the drummer, make a good back beat, and watch these really talented players take off. It's a lot of fun to watch.

I have an audition with an up and coming group Monday, www.donedealrealmusic.com, and possibly some other things later on, I'll see how everything plays out. In the meantime, I'm going to relax in this beautiful weather.

-kb

Personal Challenges.

So in the time I have working on finding work (via actual job or band) I've taken up a challenge a personal challenge. Every so often I come up with little concepts that I always tell myself I'll "turn into a comedy sketch," or "movie idea," or something. Last night I came onto an idea that I decided I could further pursue and write out into a short story... or long story... or just a story. Last nigh,t after I figured I'd make it a personal challenge, I spent a lot of time working on the concept of the story, writing all the general ideas and premise down, some key dialog that I thought up, and even a little test draft to see if my story writing capabilities... well... actually made since.

This morning I thought up another little concept or premise, completely unrelated to the story I had in mind from last night. It's based as a questionnaire, but it doesn't really require you answering the questions it's kind of rhetorical:

"Let's say a debt collector is making his usual calls, one of those calls is to a man who sounds rather, distraught, over the phone. The debt collector works past it, try's to ignore it and continues on with his speech, "Sir, we show that you have not made a payment on your dept, this is a call to remind you and try to work out some sort of payment plan that better benefits you." The man reply's "What does it matter?! None of it matters! I'm going to jump anyway... none of this shit's important! Fuck it, man. Fuck it."

As the dept collector, what do you say? (go ahead and think it out, if you like, before continuing.)

Now let's say this dept collector is a genuine spirit, and actually cares for this man's safety. He gets the jumper talking and finds out that he currently on a bridge somewhere, just kind of hanging on the edge. He finds out about this gentleman's tragic back story; that his father died not too long ago very suddenly, he's been fired, and that his wife left with the kids and the dog, because of the mounting debt.

The debt collector, starts talking to him about how even though it is a bad situation, it shouldn't be the end of the world. That through all the hardships and tragedy, that each day is a gift, and a chance to start anew.

After a considerable amount of time has past, the debt collector has told him story's and examples of hardship. The man, after listening to all these shimmering examples of hope, has decided that he can work through it, climbs back from the ledge and decides he's going to get his life back in order and begin again.

The man thanks the debt collector, "I'm really glad I decided to pick up the phone, you're my guardian angel. I owe you a lot." The debt collector reply's "It's my pleasure, I'm glad I was able to help..."

As the debt collector, do you then remind him of why you called?

think i'll go on a walkabout, find out what it's all about...

a few photos i've snapped in the last week. this last saturday i visited downtown and took shots leading up Congress Ave....or BLVD....or even Road. the road leads all the way up to the state capitol. enjoy.

and finally, home sweet home.

Commitment to the Commitment-phobe: The Tangible Lost Love Story.

I signed up to a dating site not too long ago. I signed up but I have this feeling that I’m doing it wrong. You ever have that feeling; it’s something simple not at all too complex, like, opening a door. It’s simple, but for some reason a voice in your head starts saying “you’re doing it wrong. It opens the other way and it’s also the exit.” Even though it’s a sliding automatic door and it doesn’t matter what’s the exit and entrance (…Wal-Mart!). That’s the interior monologue that’s taking over my thinking while I’m signed up with this dating service. It’s not right. Not because I have an ethical code that says I must meet people in person, not through some website. I don’t. In fact I realize it’s just a sign of the times. Just as social media, smart phones, and wi-fi have changed the course of our evolution in human interaction, internet dating is just another one of those avenues that help people express and connect in a way that they might not be able to normally. “Normally” as in Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, Wordpress, Tumblr, Flickr, YouTube, Google+, Myspace. (…BAHAHA! Myspace? Seriously?) But still, as I have an account and I answer my personality questions and fill out my ‘About Me’ information, I still have this feeling that I’m doing it all wrong.

It was important to me that when I filled in the information that I be totally honest about how I answered questions. I went with my gut feeling, and usually, the first answer I highlighted. If I ever hesitated I always asked “Really? Who are you lying to here, mystery nobodies you don’t know or yourself?” A lot of scrutiny I put myself in, but I answered honestly. The last thing I want to do is meet somebody but have it totally based off this false information that I wrote down just to get them to think I’m interesting enough to talk to. If I’m not actually interested in someone, a voice in my head is always yelling “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut your face!” (Not trying to sound like a prick, but it’s really not intriguing to me, I lied!) I really went into it thinking that if this was a tool to find someone that I really wanted to connect with, then the façade needed to really be me.

Am I putting to my thought and pressure onto it? I didn’t think so.

I also have this knack of being shallow and picky. I look at some profiles that people put together and I read that book by its cover. But I think of it this way: Every site that you’re a part of (see the Social Media sites I reference earlier), when you start an account you’re essentially handed this blank canvas. Every Social Media site out there has the basic understanding of “Here is a platform for you to broadcast to the world. Through this you have no limitations. You can put anything in the world on there, it is something that represents you and it’s broadcasted to the world, for millions and millions to see. Now, if you’re not going to take the time to put a little effort into making that blank canvas into something interesting, possibly stand out, make it pop, add some zazz, and some other pictures that show your better side, not just you staring blankly into a computer screen as you take a picture. If you seriously think to yourself that mediocre is the best you’ve got, then I’m going to assume that you’re as interesting as a cork.

Shallow? You better believe it buddy!

But I have my reasons for it. I have Persona A.D.D.. If I’m even going to consider being around someone for a long time, they have to influence me in many different ways that make me strive to be a better person in general, and push me like I haven’t been pushed before. Maybe I have high expectations because of how I was ‘brought up’ (radio/club). It’s more than likely why, but as a good friend of my puts it: “I’m not conceded, just confidently convinced.”

If you’re interested (and let’s be honest; “still reading”) in my “What I’m looking for” info, I put down “No Commitment.” Again, honestly being the forethought of the questionnaire, I am honestly not looking for something long term right now. That’s why I started to feel that I was doing it all wrong. I’m on a dating site but I’m not looking for something long term? It seemed a bit hypocritical. But then I looked at it another way: I’m not looking for long term, but short term isn’t out of the question. It’s not like I’m not going to look for fun in the form of just meeting people. That would be hypocritical to deny.

All that commitment pressure came from looking at my life and the friends and characters that all make guest appearances. All my peer friends are either one of the following; in a long term committed relationship, married, have children. I am not ready for any of those at this time of my life. I can barely commit to the same pair of shorts all day. I’m not saying that I think they made a mistake by doing that at such a young age, I’m just stating that it’s not for me, right now. I have too much to do before I settle down. In fact, I don’t even have time to settle. If you asked me, I think I’m in a great place in my life: I’m getting ready to make a big change in many different aspects of my life, and the best way to do that is solo. I have no one else to fail but myself, (not aiming for failure, but if it did happen, it would happen to just me). I have big risks ahead of me, too. And again, doing that solo is the best way to go.